Tag: Alex Jones

In the skin of a liar

So quite a while ago I reported that The Onion had bought Infowars in Alex Jones’ bankruptcy auction; there’s been a raft of further legal activity in the meantime that’s held them back, but finally they’re ready to take over. Alex is taking it well, obviously:

So that’s the comedian Tim Heidecker, who’s part of the duo Tim & Eric and who’s partnering with the Onion gang in their “hostel” takeover of Infowars (going to be creative director of the site). From what I can tell, Jones has been running old skits from the Tim & Eric TV show as if they were serious; the “actual mug shot” is from one of those skits, and the line about wearing Jones’ skin comes from an appearance on The Majority Report a couple of days ago (WARNING: video contains shirtless Alex Jones). Onion boss Ben Collins ponders what he’s up to:

Still, despite The Onion‘s decades of popularity and at least a year-and-a-half of legal sparring, Collins doesn’t believe Jones knows who or what The Onion is. Appearing on the Pablo Torre Finds Out podcast yesterday, Collins said, “A thing that I didn’t fully understand until midway through the day is that he had never heard of The Onion until it bought InfoWars. The concept of it was complete foreign to him.” But apparently, the whole conservative media apparatus didn’t seem to understand what it was. Collins also claims that, upon the acquisition, Fox News reported that The Onion had 4.3 trillion daily readers, “which is on our website somewhere, but I don’t even know where.”

This is really interesting, but I find something… unlikely about it. Little Alex is, I suspect, more in touch with consensus reality than he would like people to think, and I find it hard to believe that he knows so little about the people who’ve taken the precious from him. He knows who they are and what they’re about, and I think he knows this outburst of his is bullshit and he’s hoping that whatever’s left of his audience doesn’t know and will believe him.

Alternately, he could actually be that stupid and believe that shit himself. This is not one of the finest minds of the 20th century we’re dealing with here, after all.

In other news, frogs still gay

I was always furious that The Onion‘s glorious purchase of Infowars a year ago wound up getting overturned, so I’ll take this as a consolation prize:

US supreme court rejects Alex Jones appeal over $1.4bn defamation penalty

The US supreme court has refused an appeal from Alex Jones and left in place his $1.4bn defamation penalty that was awarded to the families of victims from the 2012 Sandy Hook elementary school shooting.
The Infowars founder and conspiracy theorist had sought to overturn the judgment, which he was ordered to pay after he made false claims about the massacre.
Jones had previously claimed the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, where 20 children and six adults were killed, was a hoax staged by crisis actors to promote stricter gun control. The Sandy Hook victims’ survivors reported that Jones’s lies spurred threats and harassment from his followers, making it impossible for them to heal from the mass murder.
The supreme court did not provide a reason for its decision, according to its orders list released on Tuesday.
As part of his appeal filed in September, Jones argued that a judge was wrong to find him liable for defamation and infliction of emotional distress without holding a trial. Jones maintained that the $1.4bn judgment “is an amount that can never be paid”, adding that “the result is a financial death penalty by fiat imposed on a media defendant whose broadcast reaches millions”.

Therein lies Alex’s problem, of course; his broadcast does reach millions, consequently so do the lies he spreads through it. It’s not like some guy with a blog no one reads. Sandy Hook was an obscenity that you only made worse and you got what you deserved; what we need now is a court that’ll actually do something to punish him for dicking around and refusing to even start paying up…

Satire is… alive and well?

The Onion wins Alex Jones’ Infowars in bankruptcy auction

No, REALLY.

I’ll admit, I didn’t think 2024 could offer anything that might offset the prospective horror of Mushroom Cock 2.0, but the fucking ONION buying Infowars has certainly gone some way towards doing just that. And the NBC article linked above refers you to a video by little Alex wherein he himself mentions the Onion buying it, so it’s not just an Onion story however much it feels like. I didn’t know how much I wanted/needed this to happen until it did, and right now I am the happiest I’ve been in quite some time.

That makes so much more sense now…

So Alex Jones posted… this earlier:

…Which caused obvious mirth but equally obvious confusion. His later explanation only muddied the waters:

I don’t think anyone misunderstood it, though, more that we didn’t understand it at all. I’m not sure there was anything TO understand, never mind misunderstand, beyond it being an undeniably amusing shitpost. The explanation clarifies nothing, and by doing it as text it kind of misses the comedic grandeur that would’ve come from him shouting it as a camera. And this is Alex Jones we’re dealing with and he has a history of saying nonsensical bullshit, but this was baffling even for him…

“News”

So Alex Jones has not only been invited back to Twitter, he’s been invited to do a show on there… which I find a bit odd given that he’s already got Infowars on which to do that sort of thing, but I subjected myself to a couple of minutes of Jones’ video and apparently it’s just going to be like a headlines & highlights reel of each day’s Infowars tirade. Either way, so much for what Oolong said about people profiting off the deaths of children… but I do think this might attract the interest of the lawyers for those people Jones infamously owes a billion dollars to that he’s been making a point of failing to pay up…

A great advertisement for the service, sure…

Yeah, Alex Jones is back on Twitter, despite what Oolong once said about how that would never happen:

A sentiment of perfect nobility, obviously, except for the fact that it didn’t happen that way, according to his by then ex-wife:

OOF. And it now turns out he was lying about not letting Jones back on Shitter; I don’t believe for a second that he only did it because he posted a poll on there that ended up in favour of Jones’ return, he wouldn’t have posted the poll if he weren’t already thinking of doing it, this just made it look like “the will of the people” or some shit. From that BBC article:

After Musk posted the poll, Jones shared a video online in which he called on his supporters to vote in favour of his ban being overturned.
Jones’s old account was reinstated hours after the poll ended.
Responding to one user on Saturday, Musk said he “vehemently” disagreed with Jones’s statements about Sandy Hook, adding: “but are we a platform that believes in freedom of speech or are we not?”
He said the move would be “bad for X financially” but “principles matter more than money”.

I mean, the answer to his question is “no, don’t be so fucking stupid“. And there’s no principle involved here; Musk was right about hating people profiting from the deaths of children, but somewhere along the way that principle’s fallen by the wayside. I don’t know whether he or Jones is the bigger moral vacuum in this situation.

Yedolf!

Aamon’s got a new video out, and, well, I’ve seen him use the word “eldritch” himself in the title of a couple of his other videos and I can’t think of a better word for this one either. What we have here is Alex Jones’ encounter with Kanye West late last year during the latter’s Nazi meltdown, and in which Jones was comprehensively outmonstered by him… I’ve seen a couple of commenters observe that Alex’s hideous form here becomes more human as he starts talking about his grandfather, and that’s interesting to observe; if it weren’t Alex Jones, I’d almost feel sorry for him being in that position.

They did what?

Well THAT video title got a bit hairy, didn’t it? This has been up on TYT’s channel for about four hours as of this posting, long enough for me to have grabbed my own screenshot of it. For some reason they still haven’t corrected it.

EDIT: as of a bit after midnight, early hours of Feb. 9, more than a day since the video was posted, they STILL haven’t corrected the title typo, which is hilarious. I can only assume they’re deliberately leaving it like that for some reason.

FURTHER EDIT: it’s 5pm on Saturday the 11th, and, well…