Hunchback of the Morgue

I must admit to not being terribly au fait with the Spanish horror industry that sprang up around the same time as the Italian one in the 1960s beyond a couple of obvious names like Jess Franco and Paul Naschy, but it appears to have been as OK with actual animal cruelty as its Italian counterpart would be… yuck. I mean, I’m not a megafan of rats either, but still…

Anyway, around 15 years ago I saw my first Paul Naschy film, The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Woman; it was a barely watchable probable bootleg, but beneath the shitty video quality I could sense something of interest. I meant to explore Naschy further, but haven’t done so until now. It was Youtube’s resident Naschy enthusiast Daniel at The Cobwebs Channel who finally convinced me to invest in the Scream Factory collections of his work, and I chose this particular title because I found this terrific essay on it (thank you again, Substack), which I think is quite correct in finding the animal cruelty abhorrent but also in identifying what makes it work other, a substantial part of which is Naschy himself.

This is one of his non-Waldemar Daninsky films, in which he is the titular hunchback, Gotho, but he’s not the monster of the movie. Granted, he kills multiple people through the film, and in remarkably gory fashion for a film made at that time too; but Gotho is a hunchback far more sinned against than sinning, a figure of freakish fun to his fellow townsfolk but essentially kind and loving until provoked. He is the film’s sorely-beset focus of sympathy. When the young woman he loves dies, he encounters the real monster of the movie, Dr. Orla, who makes use of him for his, er, unorthodox experiments. All of this is told in a way that could be described as “jagged”, full of abrupt scene cuts and transitions; it’s somewhat unbalanced and not entirely coherent, but it captures a suitably grim mood (even if the apparently night-time exteriors are kind of suspiciously well-“lit”). I enjoyed this, it basically gave me what I’d hoped for from it. I just wish it hadn’t also given me those burning rats…

RIP Cronos

Well FUCK.

Venom singer/bassist Conrad Lant, better known as Cronos, has died at the age of 63.
His band confirmed his death in a statement today (Tuesday, October 1). No cause of death has been given. […]
Born in London in 1963, Lant moved to Newcastle aged eight, where he joined Venom in 1978, during the burgeoning New Wave Of British Heavy Metal. Inspired by the rough, DIY nature of punk rock, the trio – completed by guitarist Jeffrey ‘Mantas’ Dunn and drummer Tony ‘Abaddon’ Bray – brought a raw fury to the UK heavy metal scene, first heard on 1981’s controversial yet ultimately seminal debut album, Welcome To Hell, which UK music magazine Sounds hailed as “possibly the heaviest record ever allowed in the shops for public consumption.”
“I loved Motorhead,” Cronos said in 2019, “they were a huge inspiration, but I wanted to have the Black Sabbath satanic thing too, and Alice Cooper’s theatricality, and punk’s aggression. I wanted us to be evil.”
Recorded in six days, Venom’s second record, Black Metal, was released in November 1982, and received a five star review in Sounds from future Classic Rock editor Geoff Barton. The album’s title track became the band’s signature song, influencing the namesake extreme metal genre, featuring such bands as Mayhem, Emperor and Darkthrone.

A marvellously Neanderthal racket they did make, and still teenagers when they started making it. May he enjoy all the Newcastle Brown Ale in Hell that he can handle.

Black Moon

Oof. I don’t normally expect 1930s cinema to be, you know, big on racial sensitivity or anything, but Black Moon managed to lower the bar by setting its story on a Caribbean island inhabited by “two white people and a couple of thousand blacks” and then having one of those blacks be racist towards the island’s natives (presumably because he came from the mainland US). That… didn’t really endear me to the film, and nothing much else about it did. This is a horror film where the real horror is that of a nice white woman “going native”; born on the island in question, she’s raised by her plantation-owning uncle after her parents’ death, and becomes involved in the natives’ voodoo practices. Although uncle dispatches her to the mainland where she marries a nice white man and they have a nice white child, the old attraction to those old ways comes back for some reason never fully explained. Per IMDB, the film provoked a mini-riot in Jamaica when it showed there, and even in the US there were questions about whether or not it was wise to show it in some areas there, but one African-American newspaper gave it credit for employing a load (up to about 250 or so) of black extras, so I suppose that’s… something? I don’t know. This was Fay Wray’s last horror film, and apparently she later had no memory of being in it. It’s like that. I don’t really have much else to say about it.

Heads up!

Just so you know there IS good non-Nazi stuff on Substack, I present this list of one woman’s favourite moments from her favourite horror films, because of the third item on the list: Helicopter Zombie from Dawn of the Dead:

Is it weird that I think this moment is hilarious? Because it is, and darkly so.
Roger is refueling the chopper, not really paying attention to his surroundings, so he doesn’t see the zombie that’s heading towards him. Stephen yells out, but Roger doesn’t hear him. By the time he does notice the zombie, the chopper blades take care of it for him, leaving him standing there, just staring.
It’s easily one of the best zombie kills in the entire film (in the US version, anyway, Dario Argento cut it from the European version; what was he thinking??) and Roger didn’t even have to lift a finger to do it. Awesome.

Not just hilarious and awesome, but actually a key moment in my own appreciation of horror. As I believe I’ve said before, I used to be scared of horror films, not by them but of them. I hardly ever watched anything that could be described as “horror” so I couldn’t really be scared by them. Just the idea that horror films existed was enough to put me off as a child.

Any time I went to the video shop, I usually found myself in the horror area, though, cos it was hard to avoid; at Sedrak’s in the 80s I recall their horror section directly backed onto the SF section, and the other one on Bunnerong Road in the 90s was right at the back of the shop, so you couldn’t get from one end of any aisle to the other without brushing against the horror section. I’d just look at the box covers and… no. I always felt something a bit… wrong about horror. Like it shouldn’t exist amd why did people like this stuff, I didn’t get it, and yet there was still some sort of weird allure to it.

I don’t remember any more how nor indeed why I “got into” horror, nor what my first exposure to it was (though it was probably Doomlord, as noted here), but I do recall my school friend Christos’ H.P. Lovecraft books (the Ballantine Case of Charles Dexter Ward and the Grafton Dagon and Other Macabre Tales; I’m surprised the cover of the latter, above, didn’t send me running) being a pretty major step. So I started with books, films took longer, and at some point in the middle of actually studying film at university, I felt I should probably finally investigate the horror film in something like a “proper” manner. So, being the idiot I am, I jumped in at the deep end rather than building up like an actually sensible person would…

I now know that Uncle George’s zombie epic had a somewhat circuitous journey to this uncut version finally making it to video here in 1985, with Dario Argento’s European cut of the film being banned in 1978, then a pre-cut version of Romero’s version being banned too in 1979 before a version missing about six minutes was finally passed in 1980. I am glad now I never saw this version for multiple reasons, not least being that Helicopter Zombie was one of the many things cut from it.

As noted, the actual uncut version didn’t make it here until 1985—whereupon it was banned in Queensland because OBVIOUSLY it was—and that CBS-FOX tape was how I first saw it (apparently that tape is worth something to collectors if it has the “banned in Queensland” sticker). I no longer recall if this was before or after I’d seen Night of the Living Dead (which I first saw on a grotty Hollywood House Video double bill with Dementia 13), but I do somehow recall it being 1996. I probably discovered it through this book…

…which I’d had for a few years at that point (that review, written in 2024, is unnecessarily harsh about a book first published in 1981; obviously it’s terribly dated 40+ years later but even in 1991 when I got it, it was still a useful introduction to the field); it had a charming still of the zombie that gets Tom Savini’s machete in his head, with a somewhat tut-tutting caption about how violent horror films were getting by that time. Peter Nicholls’s Fantastic Cinema, too, was just as important, cos Dawn was in the filmography appendix… Nicholls used an interesting scheme, with star ratings for overall quality but also skull ratings for violence and grossness (he made a distinction between being scared and just being repulsed that I’ve always found useful). Dawn was one of I think only six films to get the maximum three skulls. (I rather dimly recall Let Sleeping Corpses Lie, Eraserhead and Zombie Flesh Eaters being three of the others. Maybe Videodrome too? Stop digressing, James.)

So, for whatever reason I no longer fully understand, one day I decided to subject myself to this atrocity to see if I could in fact stomach it. Which maybe seems like an odd way to approach it (I mean, no one watches a John Ford western to see if they can withstand Monument Valley, do they?) but so it was. I no longer recall what I thought of the first 24 minutes, which of course includes the apartment block shootout with the exploding head, but I do recall how I reacted to Helicopter Zombie when he met his untimely (?) end. I laughed. Uproariously. This was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. It still is. And it was genuinely funny, not inadvertently so or anything like “so bad it’s good” stuff; it wasn’t one of Ed Wood’s flying saucers.

And if I’d been old enough to see the film in Australia in 1980, I wouldn’t have seen one of the best parts of it, and one of what was, in its way, one of the most important moments of cinema I’ve ever seen. As overblown as that sounds (and perhaps is), Helicopter Zombie was like an ice-breaking moment for me and the whole horror genre that made me belatedly realise this stuff was fun. It’s not my entire cinematic diet, and there are an awful lot of generally acclaimed “classics” in the genre that I’ve never got around to for various reasons, and I still can’t get excited by most of the big sequel-happy franchises from the 80s and onwards… but still, at its best, horror fascinates me in a way that other genres don’t quite do. So thanks to Helicopter Zombie, and thanks to Jamie B. at Substack for inspiring me to write this gibberish tonight (with sincerest apologies for misgendering her in the original version of this post. Oof).

I still have a Nazi problem

Look, I actually am finding good and worthy stuff on Substack; it’s just that the latter’s algorithm keeps insisting on showing me right-wing shit—often of a specifically Catholic or Orthodox flavour—that does nothing to endear me to it:

I mean, it’s not like this one is even hiding it. His Substack handle actually has a swastika and SS sig-runes in it. No nuance, just Nazism. No hiding behind weasel words like “race realist”. And, well, apparently not available in Australia:

That’s what his notes section looks like to me; I don’t understand why I can’t see these but I can see his articles proper. I wasn’t kidding about the swastika, you’ll note. Talking of “race realists”, though…

I’m not sure what “localism” is, but I understand “race realist” perfectly. Here are a few Substacks that our anonymous “essayist” particularly recommends:

All of which seem kind of telling, but especially the last one. Another example I found:

I’m not left or right, I just subscribe to newsletters named after euphemisms for Jews and neo-Nazi dogwhistles…

And just before I went to post this, Substack suggested I look at this thing from an avowed “National Socialist writer and thinker”. Problem’s not exactly resolving itself, is it…

Grey Room #17

I came awfully close to not doing a show this week, but pulled one out anyway. Quite pleased by this one.

1. Les Rita Mitsouko – C’est comme ça (1986)
2. The Rolling Stones – Sway (1971)
3. Queen – I’m in Love With My Car (1975)
4. Underground Lovers – In My Head (1996)
5. Yo La Tengo – Let’s Save Tony Orlando’s House (2000)
6. Motorhead – Capricorn (1979)
7. The Chameleons – Swamp Thing (1986)
8. Black Flag – TV Party (1981)
9. Bruce Haack – National Anthem to the Moon (1970)
10. Front Line Assemly – Heatwave (1992)
11. Mind Enhanced Waves – Profondo Giallo (2019)
12. Amon Düül II – Wie der Wind am Ende einer Strasse (1972)
13. Soundgarden – Room a Thousand Years Wide (1991)
14. Machines of Loving Grace – Perfect Tan (1993)
15. Happy Mondays – Holy Ghost (1988)

A Woman Kills

Interesting to see Jean Rollin making an appearance in this film, given that quite a few of the people involved in it (including director Jean-Denis Bonan) also worked on Rollin’s Rape of the Vampire around the same time. I suppose in some respects this is kind of similar to that film, in that it’s obviously taking a genre (the crime film in this case, vampire horror in the other) but doing really quite odd things with it. Alas, Bonan was even less fortunate that Rollin was; his earlier short film Tristesse des anthropophages had been banned, and consequently no distributor wanted to take this thing on, meaning that it didn’t get shown until 2010, and only after that did it finally actually get finished and released. Plotwise, I suppose it’s pretty straightforward, in that a woman’s been executed but her crimes appear to be continuing… the handling of this story, however, is quite experimental in many ways; Bonan was clearly not interested in making a conventional noir or anything like that, especially with the gender tomfoolery going on. I have seen one review that considers the film as possibly a spoof of nouvelle vague style, which may have been the case, indeed the blu-ray commentary says something about the French new wave having petered out by 1968 and a sort of “new” new wave comprising figures like Bonan and Rollin taking its place, so there may well be something to that too… It’s interesting that Bonan shot the film while all the May 1968 stuff was going, yet never actually mentions any of that, but as the commentary notes how the many dates referenced in the film matched significant dates in that series of events. I don’t really know how I feel about A Woman Kills, to be honest—it’s one of those films I sometimes pick up randomly because it sounds interesting and it’s obscure enough that I may not get another chance to do so—I think it may take more than one viewing. But it’s one of those thing I’m kind of glad exists and is available out there anyway…

The BASTARD

You know, I’ve heard some bad things about this Hitler character, but this REALLY convinces me that he was evil… This is a real book, by the way, published in 2004; one review I found of it suggests it’s actually less an attack on Hitler than it is an attack on non-vegetarians/vegans in general (Mr Berry appears to have been one of those vegans).

But then THIS news broke the other day:

…And I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, by this revelation, primarily because I thought it had always been suspected that Hitler offed Geli Raubal. At the very least the idea was offered as scuttlebutt almost as soon as it happened. I refuse to sign in to the Telegraph so I don’t know what the article actually says beyond the headline, but I hope the historian isn’t positing this as some sort of new idea when it’s piss all of the sort… and in any case I doubt it’ll actually make anyone think less of Adolf than they already did…

With friends like these, etc.

Pro-Trump ‘Freedom Fest’ featuring Kid Rock canceled after poor VIP sales

“Freedom Fest,” a pro-Trump event in Kentucky featuring Kid Rock that was scheduled to take place this weekend, has been canceled after low VIP ticket sales, according to its organizer, Eric Deters, a failed House candidate and Trump supporter.
In a now-deleted video posted to his Facebook page late on Monday, Deters said he had to cancel the event, “Patriot State Freedom Fest,” which was free to the public but cost $1,000 for the “VIP experience.”
Deters said only six VIP passes had been purchased as of Monday, which was not enough to offset the cost of the event for him, Newsweek reported.
“When I put together Patriot State Freedom Fest, I put it together with the game plan and the idea that I could pay for it with the VIP sales of $1,000 from these hundred people that I interact with on a regular basis that have money,” Deters said in the video.
“Out of all these people that have money that I interact with, who I do favors for all day long, they ask me for something, I never say no. I never said no to these people,” Deters went on, railing against his acquaintances for their lack of support.
“I am never ever, ever, ever, ever doing this event again,” he added.

You can hear the pathetic whine in his voice as he said that, can’t you? I wonder what the VIP experience even was… maybe the reward was that you got to avoid Mushroom Cock or something. Surprisingly, he’s actually been doing this event for a number of years now, successfully enough that he’s been able to keep doing it until now… is this how he’s always funded it, or was this some interesting new idea? Cos it was a fucking stupid idea if it was the latter. Anyway, Eric now has the perfect opportunity to get rid of his old “acquaintances” who don’t appreciate him and find new ones who are stupider than them, stupid enough at least to pay for his shitty “festival”…