Yeah, cos Melania the film was such a box office hit earlier this year that a follow-up series was clearly still merited… this feels like as much an act of aggression and punishment as Stephen Miller’s promotion does. This is clearly what America gets after turning on her husband… I must say, though, if we do get “unprecedented insight” into Slovenia’s finest (?) export, it’ll be an improvement on the original film which offered us no insight at all. I don’t know if I’ll even hate-watch it like I did the film, though.
No, really. I told myself I’d watch (or, more accurately, hate-watch) this thing once it became available on Amazon and someone had ripped it from there and started circulating it elsewhere so that I wouldn’t have to pay for the pleasure, and tonight (with the film having landed on Amazon just a few hours earlier and already spread elsewhere) that was just what I did… albeit I did play it at 1.2x speed to make it a little quicker, and in doing so I learned that if you speed Mushroom Cock up to 1.2x, he almost sounds like a normal person. That is the sum total of what I learned from this thing, mind you; I expected practically nothing from Melania, yet I was still genuinely taken aback by just how vacuous this obscene puff piece actually proved to be. It’s astonishing how little is really going on in this thing; Melania herself comes over as just the most vapid, closed-off charisma void possible, and the film itself a 105-minute wank, nothing but pure narcissism. No insights, no stakes, and no wonder two-thirds of the crew reportedly had their names removed from the credits. It wasn’t even good for a hate-watch. Fuck me and my morbid curiosity, eh. Still, this is the first feature film I’ve watched all year (been watching a ton of shorts), and if nothing else that means everything else I watch this year will have to be a masterpiece by comparison…
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