Yonder comes a sucker

So Oolong Musk is claiming he’s finally got someone to replace him as CEO of Twitter, and she’ll be here soon… whoever “she” actually is; Oolong has chosen to keep her identity secret for now. Which strikes me as odd at best, and something we should probably be at least slightly worried by… and whoever she turns out to be, I feel like she’ll still be taking a lot of orders from him, cos he’s still going to be The Man Upstairs; this just lets him divert attention from himself to someone else when the inevitable fuckups happen. (EDIT a few hours later: she’s now been confirmed as Linda Yaccarino, the now ex-head of advertising for NBC who was suspected in quite a few media sources as being the “she” Elon was being coy about. Again, I have no idea what the point of the secrecy was.)

Continue reading “Yonder comes a sucker”

The most important news of the day

All other news stories can go to Hell in the face of this:

Bobi, a 31-year-old guard dog who cheated death in his first days, has celebrated his birthday as a celebrity in central Portugal after being declared the world’s oldest dog ever two months ago.
Bobi’s owner Leonel Costa told Guinness World Records a big traditional Portuguese birthday party was planned for Bobi on Saturday at his home in the rural village of Conqueiros, where Bobi has lived his entire life.
More than 100 people, some travelling from overseas, are due to attend the festivities which will include plenty of local food and a dance troupe which Bobi will dance with.
When he was recognised by Guinness World Records as the world’s oldest dog on February 1, he broke a nearly century-old record previously held by Bluey, an Australian cattle dog who died in 1939 at the age of 29 years and five months.

The birthday boy

He’s done rather well considering he wasn’t supposed to live at all, what with his owners deciding they already had too many animals, so they basically killed the rest of his litter but somehow missed him… the kids found him and kept him secret, until the parents kind of grudgingly let him live, and now they’ve got a record-holder. Well worth it.

Shocking news: Karl Jenkins is not Meghan Markle!

Yes, we’re all sick of the coronation but the oddest story to come from it has just started spreading: it seems that composer Karl Jenkins (one of whose works was to be played at the big show) caused a bizarre amount of confusion on social media among people who, frankly, couldn’t believe he looked like he does, e.g.:

I mean… not unfair?

The Classic FM article helpfully also includes this photo of him in his days in Soft Machine:

British Jazz-rock fusion was serious business back in the mid-70s

That’s him at left in the back, demonstrating that he has indeed kind of always looked like that. I find this whole thing very strange but also rather delightful, and fortunately it appears that so does Sir Karl… best publicity he’s probably had in years if nothing else.

John Silence, Physician Extraordinary

Continuing “Horror May-hem” with book #4 for the year, Algernon Blackwood’s 1908 collection of stories about the titular “occult detective”, not the first of his kind (Le Fanu and Machen had beaten him to it in the 1800s) but more influential on later ones than his predecessors were. A curious set of five stories (plus one more Blackwood wrote for a later collection), in that Silence’s part in them is highly variable… the actual “I” narrating the stories is actually his assistant Hubbard, whose own part in the stories is similarly up and down. As for Silence, he’s only really a leading actor in two and a half of the stories, he’s essentially a deus ex machina in the fourth, and does practically nothing in the remaining one; he’s the link that connects all these stories but he’s only really partly the star of his own book. I wonder if that’s because there’s only so much you could probably do with the character, who is the sort of all-knowing unfailingly good guy who’s hard to make terribly interesting (even Sherlock Holmes made mistakes).

But, all that considered, I still enjoyed this a lot (though the idea in the last story that the young Canadian man becomes a werewolf partly because of his Native ancestry is a bit… ergh). Lovecraft hails him as the master of atmosphere in Supernatural Horror in Literature, and I think atmosphere is what the book does best; you get a really solid sense of place (and you do get a good variety of settings across these tales) and overall enigmatic vibe of things in each story. This also at least begins to plug a major gap in my knowledge of the supernatural classics; of Lovecraft’s “big four” (Blackwood, Dunsany, James and Machen, with Hodgson kind of bringing up the rear as a later discovery), Blackwood was until now the only one I hadn’t at least one full book by (I’d only read one story, that being “The Wendigo”; no, I haven’t even read the celebrated “Willows” before). I have now done that and intend to continue doing so.

Parenthetically: though I used that Dover cover art I actually read John Silence in one of those giant Delphi “complete works” collections. The latter actually includes a picture of the first edition, but I chose against using that cos, frankly, there’s a swastika on the cover. I mean, it’s a 1908 book, it’s a pre-Hitler swastika, so it’s not a bad one. But even so… I’ve actually seen with my own eyes in an antiquarian bookshop books from a hundred years earlier with swastikas in the cover design, and though I knew they weren’t bad ones (I think the books were from 1912 or something) it was still immensely jarring at first. So I decided to go with the more recent cover art. Fucking Nazis.

Hands up who feels free to die

Oooh, look at me, I can quote Thomas Jefferson! You know, that guy whose track record on slavery can most charitably be called “mixed”…

The concept that “peaceful freedom” might be actually be an achievable thing seems to elude thse cunts all the time. Or maybe it doesn’t elude them so much as it threatens them. Threatens their image of themselves as BIG TOUGH GUYS who would OBVIOUSLY have taken that Texas shooter DOWN WITH THEIR BARE HANDS cos they’re so TOUGH and HEROIC they wouldn’t even need a gun, but they’d have one to hand anyway just in case their penis went soft in all the excitement… Honestly, America’s a fucking death cult and it’ll never be anything else as l0ng as the NRA is allowed to exist and the cult of the 2nd amendment keeps worshipping that idol…

Song of the day

Gutterblood with Bonnie Prince Bob, “Gardyloo”, which is a delightful term from Edinburgh via the French language. What relevance the word (which kind of translates to “watch yersels doon in the street, we’re putt’n’ oot the shite”) has to the British monarchy is something I have absolutely no idea about. Not the slightest clue. Also, “Hanoverian” and “Luciferian” is one of the best rhymes I’ve ever heard.

My favourite picture from the coronation

“…And then into the mercy seat he climbs?”
“Onto the throne, Nick. Throne. It’s not an electric chair.”
“…So the crown doesn’t electrocute him?”
“Afraid not.”
“But… Rowan, why did Albo invite me to this thing if there’s no violent death involved?”
“Buggered if I know, Nick. I’m as confused by your presence here as your fans are.”