Nigel Farage – INANIMATE CARBON GOD

Misfarage of justice!

Remember the woman who chucked a milkshake at Nigel Farage during the UK election? She’s had her day in court, and Farrago’s unhappy with the result:

A woman who threw a banana milkshake at Britain’s Reform Party leader Nigel Farage during this year’s election campaign has been handed a suspended sentence, according to UK news agency PA Media.
Victoria Thomas Bowen had previously admitted to assaulting Mr Farage and was sentenced on Monday to 13 weeks in prison, wholly suspended for 12 months — meaning she will not go to jail unless she commits another criminal offence in that time.
The Westminster Magistrates’ Court also ordered Bowen to pay 150 British pounds ($298) in compensation to Mr Farage and complete 120 hours of unpaid community work, according to the BBC.

He’s whining about “two-tier justice” cos someone hit Jeremy Corbyn with an egg once and did go to jail for it… but they only got 28 days instead of the 13 weeks hanging over Ms Bowen’s head, so she technically actually got a harder sentence (though I presume she’ll be smart enough not to fuck that up)… I mean, if the judge had let her go without anything he might’ve had a point, but I still wouldn’t care because he’s a cunt and I’m delighted by him being effectively told by the judge to go fuck himself.

And how is his majesty doing?

It’s been a few days now since that shooting, we should check in on the orange one…

…aaaaand he’s fine. Nothing wrong with him except morally, as ever. Good to see that coming so close to death has made him realise the preciousness of life and driven him to focus on stuff that actually matters.

And he’s got friends looking after him too:

Insofar as the mask was ever on, it’s irretrievably off now. I can’t wait to find out just what Oolong expects from Glorious Bleeder for this, though, cos I’m sure that 45 million has strings attached.

And, well, sometimes you’ve got to feel sorry for the guy:

Frankly even I can’t work out what Trump has done to deserve this. Personally I can only hope Farrago’s new constituents in Clacton don’t mind him abandoning them immediately like this, I mean, it’s only a week or so since they voted him in and he’s already shirking his responsibilities to them to go and gently cup the balls of some elderly American man who isn’t even a resident of the country, let alone the constituency. Still, they voted for him, they deserve whatever they get…

Meanwhile on RM Brown’s channel:

There’s a couple of issues about this theory that God saved Trump (apart from the fact that it presupposes God’s existence, obviously) that I find problematic:

One, if God was protecting Trump, why did he let the shooting happen at all? Why didn’t he stop the shooter from firing in the first place?
Two… frankly, someone died. And another man apparently required multiple surgeries for the injuries he sustained, plus two others were apparently hit as well. Why didn’t God protect THEM? Did he decide they could just go fuck themselves? These pricks gushing about God saving Trump aren’t making as good a case for God as they think they are…

Creepfake

The video is clear: Nigel Farage, appearing on screen as a gaming livestreamer, is commentating as he plays Minecraft. The Reform UK party leader explains that he has logged on to Rishi Sunak’s server, tracked down the prime minister’s virtual home in the video game, and intends to blow it up.
Farage’s distinctive voice can be heard as he explains what he’s about to do: “I filled it to the brim with TNT. And for everyone’s information there were absolutely no traces of Sky TV services in or around the house.”
A mildly exasperated spokesperson for Farage confirmed that the video was “of course” not real and the Reform party leader had not been spending the campaign livestreaming Minecraft commentary.
“Quite funny though,” the spokesperson added.

Frankly, were I a Minecraft player, I’d be relieved to know this silly thing was fake. The thought that Fartage might be into something I was also into would put me off it forever.

Milkshake as a deadly weapon

Nigel Farage got milkshaked!

Farage — who rocked Westminster Monday by u-turning and announcing he will stand in Britain’s election as leader of the right-wing Reform Party — was hit with the drink as he exited a Wetherspoons pub in Clacton.
The banana-flavored milkshake from McDonald’s soaked his hair, face and parts of his clothes.
Speaking to POLITICO after the protest, Farage admitted to being rattled by the “quite violent” incident — but described it as an occupational hazard on campaign walkabouts.
“If somebody chucks something and it hits you in the face, it could be anything, it is a bit scary,” he said.
He added: “It was quite violently done. This doesn’t happen to Keir Starmer, this doesn’t happen to Rishi Sunak. You know why, they don’t go out and meet hundreds of people and this is the risk of doing it.”

Also you’re an even bigger cunt than they are. That doesn’t help you.

This photo (taken by Ben Stansall, to give credit where it’s very much due) is astonishing to me; the timing of it is glorious, and somehow I find this even funnier than the photo of that implacable curve of milkshake actually hitting Farage. The young lady was, obviously, arrested for assault, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a substantial number of people offered to pay whatever fine she may attract…