Bit of nudity and a rampaging Puli dog.
Month: August 2025
Human Lanterns (1982)
I’m counting this as a first time watch for this project, because it may as well be… I first saw it on DVD around maybe 2007 or 2008 when Siren were still handling the Shaw Brothers catalogue here; this was a particularly inadequate disc, because not only was it non-anamorphic (never a good thing, but even less so with a proper ‘Scope film like this) but the fucking disc jammed at some point so I never saw it in full. So this is technically the first time I’ve really seen it, in blu-ray form, anamorphic and complete, and GODDAMN it was worth waiting for that ending (disc only arrived in the mail today, too, so I’ve been unusually quick to get to it)… Don’t know much about director Sun Chung, other than that I have another one of his films in one of the Shawscope boxes, but I saw an IMDB reviewer claim he was an unsung hero of Shaws as an action durector, but never got as good a story to work with as Chang Cheh or Lau Kar-Leung. Our story involves a couple of rival martial arts masters in a Chinese town, one of whom hires an former enemy of his (Lo Lieh, making his second appearance in this project) to help him beat the other at the forthcoming lantern festival; the latter, however, has a more vested interest in gaining revenge on his new client. The film is never quite as lurid as I wish it was, though it certainly is that; the blood is plentiful and of a redness that Herschell Gordon Lewis might’ve called unnatural, and a couple of scenes are still kind of grisly and unpleasant. But it’s the martial arts action that works best here, especially in the aforementioned ending which is just 15 minutes of the characters going berserk. This is one I think will reward repeat viewings.
Howard Harvey rides again

DOOMLORD’s back! Well, not in actually new form, but for the first time the original photo strip is being reprinted… apparently the publisher actually wanted to do it a couple of decades ago, but the print technology for reproducing the photography in book form wasn’t quite there to their satisfaction; things surely do appear to have changed, and I for one am here for it. By the time I picked up Eagle as a young’un, Doomlord was on its third series, but a few years later I got a loan of a bunch of the earlier issues, and thereby discovered the original Doomlord was a somewhat different affair; if the second Doomlord would eventually appoint himself as Earth’s defender against his people, the first one was a man (sort of) on a mission to wipe humanity out… I suppose it might seem a bit cheesier now that 40+ years have passed, but whatever. Soon as this comes out (apparently not until next year, alas), I’ll be grabbing this…
I’m a film, not a fish!

I’m always fascinated when I come across old Australian ads for films of this sort, cos I always think of the Commonwealth Film Censorship Board (as it then was) as having been particularly censorious back in those Good Old Days, mostly because it was, of course… so I’m always a bit surprised to see local theatre ads for them (don’t know anything about this Metro cinema, but I daresay a cinema up the Cross would be the sort of place that would show this sort of thing). In this case, though, I wasn’t, cos I remember the old video shop on Maroubra Road having it on VHS back in the 90s, but it still feels a bit striking to see a local cinema ad for it even so… incidentally, Refused Classification notes that the video release was cut even more than the cinema print, though doesn’t clarify why. Ironically, you can now get the thing uncut on Youtube’s paid movies and TV channel where it’s only rated MA, so it’s technically OK for older teenagers… how times change, eh.
Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989)
Um… yeah. If I characterised our previous film as “berserk”, how can I not say the same thing about… whatever the fuck this was? This, it should be said, is considered one of the defining works of Japanese cyberpunk cinema, so it was pretty much bound to be one of the damnedest things I’ve ever seen; I have read descriptions of other extreme Japanese horror films next to which Tetsuo may seem comparatively mild, but on its own terms… yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen much else that was quite this out there. The story, if you can call it, revolves around two men, a “metal fetishist” and a salaryman who runs him over in a car accident; the latter gradually finds his life turning more metallic as it becomes clear he should’ve made sure the metal guy was in fact dead before trying to dispose of him. It’s actually more coherent than some critics seem to think it is, basically being a particularly fucked kind of supernatural revenge story, but the story’s not the point, the style is… indeed, Tetsuo is a pretty astounding case of style as substance rather than just over it. I feel like the budgetary constraints on the film (which only cost about $100,000), having to shoot on black and white 16mm film and so forth, actually make the film what it is, this would’ve been an entirely different film in 35mm and colour (like its sequel) because the grotty b/w visual just define the tone so much. Tetsuo is all about those visuals, the editing, the sound and music design, and especially the startling use of pixillation; throughout the film you can see it visibly fighting its limitations. It does get kind of wearing before the end—this is a somewhat long 67 minutes—but once I got into its peculiar vibe I enjoyed it a fair bit. Really should see more of Shinya Tsukamoto’s stuff.
The Wicked City (1992)
OH, isn’t it a grand thing to rewatch a film you haven’t seen in over a quarter of a century and discover that, not only is it as berserk as you remember it being, but even more so? That was the somewhat astounding position I found myself in tonight… I believe I’ve only seen The Wicked City once, back in the late 90s when I was first exploring Hong Kong cinema; it was on SBS and for some reason I don’t think I taped it in the way I did with pretty much all the other HK stuff SBS showed back then, so I haven’t had an opportunity to see it since then (and if I did tape it, I don’t have a VCR to play it)… I did watch the anime on which this was based a long time ago too, but I haven’t seen this live-action version of it since way back when. And I mostly remembered it being, as I said, berserk. Our story is laid in Hong Kong which is kind of connected to the world of demon-like creatures called Rapters; a drug from the latter’s world that makes humans evaporate has started to appear in ours, and the anti-Rapter agents must find the source and stop it. How this story is told, though, is what matters, it’s the bizarre details and the way some things just… happen, for want of a better word, especially in rhe second half. And, as I said, it was even MORE berserk than I remembered it being, cos I’d somehow forgotten some of those details, like the agents suddenly manifesting their own unexplained telekinetic and magnetic powers, the astounding wirework battle, the, er, pinball machine… I was terrified it wouldn’t live up to my increasingly dim memories of something I saw once in the late ’90s, but it actually exceeded them and I can’t complain about that. Really should rewatch the anime some time, too…
Important images 138
Nudity! A pleasant abundance of bare flesh indeed, along with the other usual good stuff…
Seems about right
US military is buying Tesla Cybertrucks to use as targets for missiles
Tesla CEO Elon Musk has touted the Cybertruck as being “bulletproof” and designed to “survive the apocalypse.” He suggested it could be used by the military and even directly pitched the electric pickup truck to the US military.
Considering that the Cybertruck has turned out to be a commercial flop and Tesla is currently experiencing issues selling it, despite reduced production, the automaker could benefit from a Cybertruck order from the US military.
It looks like it is about to get one.
According to new documents first obtained by ‘The War Zone‘, the U.S. Air Force Test Center (AFTC) is looking to acquire 33 target vehicles—including two Tesla Cybertrucks—for delivery to the White Sands Missile Range (WSMR) in New Mexico.
This is, obviously, not how Edolf expected his vehicles to serve the US military, and something about it feels vaguely malicious, like Mushroom Cock still paying him money for these things but giving him the finger while doing so; as for why they specifically need CybertrucKKKs, well, apparently it’s because they’re worried about The Other Side obtaining them and the US needs to know if they have the ability to destroy them or not should it come to that. Not quite as preposterous as it sounds—as the article reminds us, Chechen warlord Ramzan Kadyrov has at least one that he claims to have used in battle—but still a bit risible. Anyway, the real problem I think they’ll face is, when the missile hits the CybertrucKKK, determining if the missile actually blew it up or the vehicle did so by itself…
Superscum!
With the new Superman movie causing so much discourse at the moment, it’s nice to see one former Superman being inspired by it… if only it had been in a positive way:
Former Superman actor Dean Cain has announced he has signed up to join US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (Ice), in order to support Donald Trump’s anti-immigration agenda.
The federal law enforcement agency has aggressively ramped up immigration raids since Trump’s return to the White House and was recently awarded $75bn in extra funding as part of the president’s “big beautiful bill”, which includes billions for hiring an additional 10,000 Ice agents by 2029.
Speaking on Fox News on Wednesday night, Cain told host Jesse Watters that he decided to join Ice after sharing one of their recruitment videos on his Instagram account on Tuesday, which Watters had spoken about on his show.
“I’m actually a sworn deputy sheriff and a reserve police officer – I wasn’t part of Ice, but once I put that out there and you put a little blurb on your show, it went crazy,” Cain told Watters on Wednesday. “So now I’ve spoken with some officials over at Ice, and I will be sworn in as an Ice agent, ASAP.”
Asked what inspired him to join, Cain said: “This country was built on patriots stepping up, whether it was popular or not, and doing the right thing. I truly believe this is the right thing.”
Funny, I could’ve sworn the Unhinged States was founded on white people moving there from Europe and settling there illegally, followed by other white people doing the same thing and declaring the previous lot of white people weren’t white enough, and meanwhile the people already living there were just confused by where all these white people were coming from and where the situation would leave them…
The “woke” discourse around the new Superman film and the latter being an “immigrant”—the ultimate illegal immigrant, indeed, and one you can’t just send back where he came from—is evidently what’s provoking Cain now, cos he’s been a right-wing shit for years; he apparently claimed that he’d been a registered Republican but switched to independent cos the party didn’t represent him, but he seems to have only voted Republican in this century, and he’s a director of the NRA. Plus he’s a reserve officer in three different police forces, one of which is a deputy sheriff position. It’s nice to actually live one’s beliefs, I suppose, and it’s something I can respect, but not when said beliefs are odious and could result in harm to others that don’t deserve it…
Incidentally, I only discovered today Cain is actually quarter-Japanese, his father having been one Roger Tanaka; the latter appears to have bailed on the family before Dean was born, but I suspect that, depending on exactly how old he was, he might have had similar tales to George Takei about being, you know, concentrated for being the “wrong” race that he could’ve told Dean if he’d stuck around, and the latter might have taken them on board and decided this sort of thing he’s now doing is a bit bullshit and needlesly cruel. Or maybe not. Probably not, in fact. Cunt.
Christ 2: This Time It’s Biblical (?)

So this fucking thing is real after all? And it’s in TWO parts? I know there’s been a rather tedious tendency in cinema over the couple of decades to split film adaptations of certainly particularly long books into two parts ever since the Harry Potter series first pulled that stunt, but where the fuck is the material for TWO films going to come from on this subject? Jesus Christ (as it were), even the Bible has piss all to say about the resurrection, and about as much to explain what he was doing on his long weekend off… TWO films. The last time I wrote about this nonsense I described it as Gibson’s white whale, and I somehow don’t feel like this news really changes that, it feels more like he’s named these two dates—TWO! for fuck’s sake—to force himself to be accountable or something, “honestly I will have these TWO! films ready to go by those dates, I promise”… Mind you, now that he has named the dates, God has the perfect opportunity to pull the ultimate trick and bring about the apocalypse before Good Friday 2027…
You must be logged in to post a comment.