Tag: Elon Musk

Where do we start…

So this poor bastard’s heart is evidently breaking that people don’t like the CybertrucKKK and he can’t understand why they don’t. How to improve people’s perception of it? …Hmmmmmm. Well, for a start, maybe make it LESS FUCKING UGLY, perhaps. Make it less of a box, put a bit more curvature in. (Apparently the truck’s famous stainless steel frame means that’s actually quite difficult to do, so… I don’t know, use something else?) I suspect people might also feel better supposed towards it if Tesla could demonstrate it’s actually safer than they’ve been fearing; if you google “cybertruck dangerous”, you get a truly remarkable number of articles wringing their hands over just how dangerous these things might be to pedestrians, cyclists, other vehicles, time and space itself, etc. I don’t see the same sort of fear around other cars. Also, that dickhead Musk has to stop associating with the company so that people won’t associate the truck with him; otherwise the only people actually excited about this fucking monstrosity will continue to be his cultists like the twit who wrote this nonsense in the first place…

Can’t buy a lawsuit

Oolong’s lawsuit against that org documenting racist and extremist content on Twatter just got tossed:

A judge in California on Monday dismissed tech billionaire Elon Musk’s lawsuit against the Center for Countering Digital Hate, a non-profit that has published reports chronicling the rise of racist, antisemitic and extremist content on X, formerly Twitter, since Musk’s acquisition.
The case was dismissed in accordance with the state’s anti-Slapp law, which forbids nuisance lawsuits intended to punish the exercise of free speech.
“Sometimes it is unclear what is driving a litigation, and only by reading between the lines of a complaint can one attempt to surmise a plaintiff’s true purpose,” wrote Charles Breyer, the US district judge, in the ruling. “Other times, a complaint is so unabashedly and vociferously about one thing that there can be no mistaking that purpose. This case represents the latter circumstance. This case is about punishing the defendants for their speech.”

This was a pretty bullshit case from the off and the judge. Alas that it almost certainly won’t make any difference to the amount of “racist, antisemitic and extremist content” on the platform, not if the amount of that sort of shit which I’ve been reporting lately and getting nothing but “chinlesswonder1488 hasn’t broken our safety policies” type replies is indicative…

A genius

I’ll admit to having no idea how to set my own PC laptop up without the Microsoft account either, but I’m also not marketing myself and being celebrated by an unthinking cult as the world’s prime technology genius. Surprised to find such a smart man using Windows in the first place (are Mac and Linux too woke for him?)…

And in Oolong news…

You remember Neuralink, don’t you? You remember the 1500 animals that died in the course of experimenting on them? Well, as you may see above, Oolong is now claiming to have taken the next step; I was wrong the last time I posted about this, cos I said he didn’t have FDA approval for human testing when he actually had got it a few months earlier, and he’s apparently acted on that at last.

I say “apparently” because, well, this tweet appears to be the only evidence of it happening at all. Neuralink’s own Twitter account is conspicuously free of any statement on the subject, the “recipient” hasn’t been identified, and I’m just perplexed by the absence of hype. This tweet has been, you know, it. Kind of weird that people are just accepting this story on the face of it without, you know, evidence, though I have seen a few people wondering what Elon might be trying to distract us from with this amazing news, and someone may have found out:

“Unacceptable migration of contaminated ground water is present” is quite a way of putting it. Tesla’s fuckup is, as far as I can see, getting rather less coverage than Musk’s putative neurosurgery success, but maybe it just needs more time to circulate. Either way, if this operation did happen, and I somehow feel it didn’t, I hope the proud owner of a new brain chip has a happier ending than Oolong’s monkeys…

Parenthetically, one of the responders to the Brian Tyler Cohen tweet I posted at the start of this made some snide remark about how at least Elon admits he wants to microchip you. Which is not an entirely bad point, but, really, if you’re going to be like that about it, one might further add the reason why Bill Gates doesn’t tell you about microchipping is that HE ISN’T DOING THAT TO YOU. Fucking paranoids, man…

A little detail I’d missed…

So remember how, just a few weeks ago, Oolong was copping mockery for this glorious post? For some reason, it’s only just struck me now after looking at it again that it’s actually even stupider than I first thought.

An armoured personnel carrier from the future.

What “Bladerunner” would have driven.

But when did Blade Runner take place?

…OH.

Which was four years in the PAST when Oolong said Cybertruck(kk) was from the future.

I don’t know how I didn’t pick up on this at the time when this silliness started circulating, but goddamn I’m pleased that I’ve finally done so.

A great advertisement for the service, sure…

Yeah, Alex Jones is back on Twitter, despite what Oolong once said about how that would never happen:

A sentiment of perfect nobility, obviously, except for the fact that it didn’t happen that way, according to his by then ex-wife:

OOF. And it now turns out he was lying about not letting Jones back on Shitter; I don’t believe for a second that he only did it because he posted a poll on there that ended up in favour of Jones’ return, he wouldn’t have posted the poll if he weren’t already thinking of doing it, this just made it look like “the will of the people” or some shit. From that BBC article:

After Musk posted the poll, Jones shared a video online in which he called on his supporters to vote in favour of his ban being overturned.
Jones’s old account was reinstated hours after the poll ended.
Responding to one user on Saturday, Musk said he “vehemently” disagreed with Jones’s statements about Sandy Hook, adding: “but are we a platform that believes in freedom of speech or are we not?”
He said the move would be “bad for X financially” but “principles matter more than money”.

I mean, the answer to his question is “no, don’t be so fucking stupid“. And there’s no principle involved here; Musk was right about hating people profiting from the deaths of children, but somewhere along the way that principle’s fallen by the wayside. I don’t know whether he or Jones is the bigger moral vacuum in this situation.

A matter of scale

So we’ve also seen pictures of Oolong Husk’s Cybertruck(kk), but I think this is the first time I’ve realised the actual size of it:

Jay Leno is five foot eleven, apparently. That’s what a nearly six-foot man looks like inside one of these fucking things. Seeing that gave me a sudden understanding of the actual size of Cybertruck(kk)… and it now feels uglier to me than ever before; if it didn’t look bad enough in the pictures of it I’d seen, it seems a whole lot worse now…

The invisible hand gives the visible finger

I haven’t said anything about Oolong for quite a few days now, unlike the man himself who, well, said quite a lot with just a few words recently:

The funniest thing about this interview was the bit where Elon got the interviewer’s name wrong, of course, but the really important bit was where he uttered the deathless words “go fuck yourself” to those advertisers who’ve lately become sniffy about him after the Media Matters thing a few weeks ago. And then he had the nerve to post this a couple of days later:

I don’t know, are the people running those other platforms personally promoting the antisemitic shit on them like you’re doing?

The idea that if he wants advertisers on his platform maybe he should give them some sort of incentive to give him money rather than telling them to fuck off appears to have escaped him, as it appears to have done with this buffoon:

Lady Ballers looks like a horrible story unto itself, of course, but it’s not really the point here. The point is, these cunts clearly operate on the principle that they necessarily deserve advertising revenue purely by virtue of them simply being themselves? Disney should advertise on Shitter because Oolong is Oolong? No. The onus really is on him to give them a reason to. Instead he did the opposite; if there was anything he said in that debacle that he shouldn’t have said even more than “go fuck yourself”, it was “DON’T ADVERTISE”! That’s not how you do this sort of thing, you complete vacuum. It’s all about the free market for these bloody people until the free market tells them to go fuck themselves in return… and at some point I suspect he’s going to say the same thing to his investors and they’re not going to take that for an answer…

I’d better stop calling him Oolong, I suppose

So this was Oolong—sorry, I’d better call him his proper name in case he comes for me—this, I say, was Elon Reeve Musk’s latest entirely rational, carefully considered, and not at all drug-induced public statement in between his vendettas against Media Matters For America and the ADL and “anti-whiteness”. Somewhere Mark Zuckerberg is howling with laughter from within an MMA cage, and Elon’s investors who gave him the money he needed to buy Twitter must be delighted at the value they’ve got from him in return.

Honestly, someone needs to get him off the ketamine. He might not sound like quite so much of a cunt at least.