Somerton lives. Great.

Unbelievable, but believable at the same time. James Somerton is not only not dead—as we discovered soon after the “suicide note” business a couple of months ago (also: that was ONLY a couple of months ago?), he was in alive after all—but also not offline.

And in the meantime he’s been using yet another alt account to defend himself:

So yeah, not only alive and well but evidently never in any real danger from himself after all. Needless to say, Peter Coffin is still blaming everyone else, as you can see from what he’s posting and reposting:

Yeah, “his DICK and BALLS” is apparently quite literally what he was posting on his alt account while threatening suicide on main. There have, of course, been jokes about who he plagiarised his genitals from…

Anyway, NO ONE IS DISAPPOINTED that James Somerton is still alive. We’re disappointed that he’s still a fucking idiot. Everything that’s happened to him over the last six months and he’s learned FUCKING NOTHING from it. He is apparently completely incapable of not being online, and I am of course the last person who can criticise anyone else for that, but I’m not putting myself out in front of a vast audience as a professed expert in whatever subject, and I haven’t built my reputation for being that on mass plagiarism and misinformation. And I haven’t tried to fake my death to avoid criticism. Slight difference between me and him.

I don’t actively wish Somerton harm, but I have reached the point where I no longer actively wish him well. I suspect I’m not the only one now in that position. If he actually does do better and finally learn from the experience, great. And if he doesn’t, well, whatever. I don’t think anyone but Peter Coffin will waste any sympathy on him.

Well that was unexpected

Elon Musk’s Neuralink reports trouble with first human brain chip

I was sceptical a few months ago when the story of Oolong’s first Neuralink chip started circulating, but I suppose if they’re admitting something’s wrong with it then it actually did happen after all…

The first invasive brain chip that Neuralink embedded into a human brain has malfunctioned, with neuron-surveilling threads appearing to have become dislodged from the participant’s brain, the company revealed in a blog post Wednesday.
It’s unclear what caused the threads to become “retracted” from the brain, how many have retracted, or if the displaced threads pose a safety risk. Neuralink, the brain-computer interface startup run by controversial billionaire Elon Musk, did not immediately respond to a request for comment from Ars. The company said in its blog post that the problem began in late February, but it has since been able to compensate for the lost data to some extent by modifying its algorithm.

If I’m reading the story correctly, they seem to be mostly worried that the chip isns’t transferring data fast enough to actually be useful in moving cursors on a screen and that sort of thing. I suppose the thinking is “the guy was already a paraplegic so it’s not like we could fuck him up any further”… I mean, it wasn’t a CybertrucKKK they were putting in his brain…

RIP Steve Albini, I suppose

As much as he could be a complete shit of a person with harsh words for some of the bands he recorded, Albini was obviously a major player in his particular niche of the music industry, for which, of course, he tended to have even harsher words… a look at his list of credits shows just how many records he was involved with in the last 40 years, of which I suppose the dudes from Led Zeppelin represent one extreme and Whitehouse the other.

This latter is the bit some people are focusing on…

If you are reading this, then you probably have heard that the esteemed rock musician and producer Steve Albini — who produced bands like Nirvana and the Pixies along with fronting bands like Big Black and Rapeman — died today at the age of 61. The usual lugubrious outpourings of phony grief have been rampant on social media, with countless people who had never even heard of him until now professing to have been his biggest fan. In other words, the usual thing that happens when someone even remotely famous dies.
In reality, however, Steve Albini was certainly no hero. In fact, Albini was an admitted lover of child pornography who openly promoted said child pornography in language so sickening that you may feel like a criminal just for reading it.

This is an awfully large accusation, with unfortunate proof also provided, in the form of a tour diary he wrote about Big Black when they toured Europe and, well, found certain magazines while in Hamburg where certain magazines and films were still legal then (there’s a really interesting video here about how Color Climax in Denmark got away with bestiality and CP simply because there were no laws against that sort of thing after censorship was abolished there in 1969). It’s yikes-inducing to read, although from what I can see online there seems to have been some debate about the extent to which he may or may not have been “edgelording” it for effect like Peter Sotos… for whose ‘zine Pure he also gave an approving review, reproduced in the Medium piece. It’s equally yikes-inducing. There’s a fairly long video here about Sotos and Pure, which is about as close to the fucking thing as I want to get.

Sotos was notable as a member of noise/power electronics mob Whitehouse for much of its existence, and for his… literary work, and for being the first person charged under then-new child pornography laws in the US. This has somehow never got in the way of him having a career as a writer and musician, or being taken seriously in that capacity; it never stopped William Bennett inviting him to rejoin Whitehouse when he reactivated the latter in the ’90s (I have long suspected Bennett was a bit of a cunt as well); and it never stopped Steve Albini from being his avowed friend, or from making records with him for Whitehouse and under Sotos’ own name, including… this. Ugh.

For what little it may be worth, the author of that Medium piece is an avowed piece of shit himself, and there’s a commenter on it who’s pretty snippy at him and basically accuses him of writing the piece in bad faith. I don’t know if Sotos is an actual nonce or not—I mean, I suppose it’s possible he just had that CP magazine in order to use it in Pure rather than as, you know, spank bank material—but fuck him anyway. And I similarly don’t know about Albini, who may well have regretted that tour diary bit and his positive review of Pure like he regretted his other “youthful indiscretions”, but… you know. I don’t think I have anything else to say on this one.

I wonder why

Rudy Giuliani struggles to find an accountant: ‘nobody seems interested’

“Nobody seems interested” in helping Rudy Giuliani meet accounting obligations in his ongoing bankruptcy case, lawyers for the former New York mayor, presidential hopeful and Trump attorney said in a court filing on Tuesday.
“Unfortunately, the debtor originally had an accountant who was helping,” the filing said. “However, he had a change of heart and indicated that he no longer wished to help prepare the monthly operating reports.
“The debtor advised that he has reached out to a number of accounting firms and CPAs seeking their help, however, no one seems interested in taking the assignment.”

I feel it’s not so much that they’re not interested in the job as such, but more that they’re interested in being paid for it, and they don’t trust Rudy to do so so they have enough sense to not get involved… unlike the man himself, who persists in working for Trump despite the latter owing him millions in legal fees.

Met Ballard

The Met Gala is a fashion event, and consequently I have next to no interest in it, because as a general rule I do not give a good goddamn about fashion so the Gala doesn’t attract me. Indeed, I don’t think I even knew anything about it before watching this video about it:

I wish JJ would come back to YT, cos her stuff was fun. Anyway, I am absolutely not a style icon by any stretch of the imagination; I am about basic black in everything—band t-shirts are about as colourful as I get and most of the ones I have are just white on black designs—and comfort above all, and if I don’t care about dressing up for myself, I generally don’t care too much about other people doing it.

Now, the Met Gala is a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s costume department—last year it cost seventy-five thousand dollars to attend, and even that was only if Anna Wintour invited you in the first place; it’s for a good enough cause, I suppose, but for fuck’s sake—and each year there’s a theme tied in with whatever the Costume Institute is exhibiting at the time. You don’t have to dress accordingly, but it’s expected that you will. Consequently, the Met Gala strikes me primarily as a load of absurdly well-off people dressing up stupidly in public, and I don’t really care that much…

…Except that this year, the theme was a story by J.G. Ballard.

WHAT?

The story can be read here, and revolves around an aging aristocrat and his wife, about to be beset by raging mobs. However, Count Axel has flowers in his garden that can turn back time a certain amount when they’re plucked and thereby he holds back the advance of said mobs. But nothing lasts forever, though. It’s a neat story with a really neat idea, but I suspect Jim Ballard would have found it an incomprehensible idea for a fashion theme as I do…

…And if I didn’t understand it, I’m not sure some of the attendees really did either… I mean, the story’s not about flowers as such, is it? But that seems to have been the easiest way to live up to the “Garden of Time” theme… I don’t know, I’m just perplexed by the very idea of any Ballard story becoming the basis for something like the Met Gala (parenthetically, People Online are outraged, obviously, that the event is happening at all while Israel is wiping out Palestine, but frankly, if we stopped doing everything like this while there’s an atrocity happening somewhere on Earth we’d stop doing anything at all), though I do rather like the idea that someone who’s never heard of Ballard before might now actually read something by him (“ooh, this one’s about cars, that sounds like fun…”). Could you imagine, though, if whoever decided on the theme for this year’s ball picked another Ballard story like Crash or The Unlimited Dream Company or The Atrocity Exhibition? I think even I might watch that…

Less obviously

Elon Musk Asks Fellow Transphobe JK Rowling To Post Other Content

Astonishingly, Oolong is apparently as sick as the rest of us of Mr Galbraith hating trans folks all the time:

Harry Potter author and self-proclaimed TERF JK Rowling has been asked by CEO of X (formerly Twitter) and fellow transphobe Elon Musk to turn the transphobia down a notch.
In response to a lengthy tweet from April that saw Rowling employ much of her usual anti-trans rhetoric, such as invalidating trans identities and touting gender essentialism, Musk decided to step in and personally ask the author if she could perhaps pivot to other topics.
“While I heartily agree with your points regarding sex/gender,” he said, “may I suggest also posting interesting and positive content on other matters?”
Musk’s request is particularly ironic, given his previous attempts to lobby against gender-affirming care and current plans to sue Australia’s ESafety Commission after a request to take down an anti-trans post on his platform.
Rowling is yet to respond to Musk’s request, and though most people would probably pause to reflect if told to scale back the transphobia by Elon Musk, it’s not difficult to imagine Rowling will only be emboldened to quadruple down on her anti-trans rhetoric due to this request.
In fact, in the days since this reply, Rowling has continued to post transphobic content completely undeterred by Musk’s request.

According to The Humanist Report, she did in fact post one non-transphobia thing after making a snarky comment about Musk’s tweet, but does seem to have otherwise carried on business as usual after that. But yeah, when a champion transphobe like Oolong is saying “Jesus fuck, Joanne, can’t you talk about something else for once?”, you’d think she might take a bit more notice than that… but I suppose we’ve known for a while what really matters to her, and it’s not being remembered for the Potter books…

Lock him up, for fuck’s sake

There’s nothing I’ve really wanted to say about the Orange One’s legal woes, cos I prefer to have as little to say about him as possible, but there was an interesting development in the hush money trial:

So Trump keeps violating the gag order that’s been put on him by pissing and moaning on Truth Social, and there’s been a lot of discourse about why he isn’t in jail for it. Cos, you know, like everything else about Trump’s legal situation, ANYONE ELSE would’ve been in jail ages ago… anyway, though, Judge Merchan has finally raised the spectre of Orange Man having to wear the orange suit. So this is quite a move forward.

At least it will be if Merchan actually takes it; while noting that the $1000 fines he applied to each of the nine times he’s been allowed to violate the gag order have been useless as a deterrent, on the tenth violation he just fined him the thousand bucks again. And he’s said outright he doesn’t actually want to jail Trump either, all of which kind of begs the question: at what point does Merchan actually intend to consider the jail option? And when he does consider it, will he actually pack Trump off to a cell? Cos, obviously, ANYONE ELSE, like I said, would’ve been in one long before this. Amazing what leniency you can purchase just by having been president…