The Third Grave

I opted for the cover art for the original Arkham House printing; the Valancourt reprint is good but slightly on the cheesy side.

Anyway, book #6 for 2023, Horror May-hem continues with The Third Grave by David Case… I gather the latter’s normal forte was werewolves, and this book does have a perhaps slightly pointless red herring in that line, but otherwise it’s actually a sort of mad science-ish tale with an Egyptological twist. In classic “Return of the Sorcerer” style, our narrator, Thomas Ashley, is hired by a most peculiar man, Lucian Mallory, to translate some hieroglyphics for him; Mallory’s real interest, though, is immortality, and he thinks he’s found part of the secret and wants Ashley to work out the rest of it. Neither, however, realises just what the immortality of the ancient Egyptians actually involves…

This is an awfully slow-burning book; it’s only about 200 pages long but the build-up feels paced for a much longer book, and the real business only really happens in the last third or so… mind you, when it does, damn. Mallory’s work, based on incomplete and misunderstood knowledge, has already had awful results; the murder-mystery stuff in the first two thirds of the book is resolved in a not exactly surprising manner, but conceptually speaking the nature of the killer turns out to be… yikes. The book has a weird sense of… well, time, I don’t know how to describe it really; I got this from Mallory’s ruminations about his own sense of the passage of time and the book kind of embodied something like that… the Egyptological setting of the book’s opening already felt decades old for a book published in 1981 and, evidently, set around that time as well, and the setting of the rest of the book—the crusty old rural village and the even crustier old house where Ashley and Mallory do their stuff—gave a similar sense of not quite the modern world. I don’t know, maybe I just felt that because it’s 2023 now and the book itself is as removed from my own time as the story feels. Wonder what its original readers thought.

One thing about the book that, unfortunately, was of another time but still is of ours is the racism of the village characters, who have thoughts and feelings about immigrants even though they’ve almost certainly never met any (the local “vagabonds” are bad enough for them. Cf. also the vicar who laments how much of the Bible was written by Jews). It’s probably more of a general small old village distrust of outsiders and newcomers than anything, but still… and I don’t suppose David Case actually shared in that sort of thinking, having been an import to the UK himself, but Ashley as narrator never exactly does much if anything to contradict these people’s Middle Englandness… That aside, though, I wound up liking this a lot; should read more Case.

Didgeridead

(Post title stolen from someone on Twitter who is clearly smarter than me)

Anyway, Rolf Harris died

…in fact he apparently did so on the 10th of the month; the family opted to wait until he was safely in the ground before making it public. Can’t imagine why they might want to do that, I’m sure it’s completely unrelated to him being a convicted and unrepentant pedophile whose funeral might’ve been the target of protests if people had known where and when it was happening…

A theological point I’d never considered

Holy Righteous Penis (Batman). This makes me wonder various things including 1) where do women’s vaginas come from in that case and 2) …what else do you use your penis for? I know Puppetry of the Penis is a thing, and so is Lifto from the Jim Rose Circus, but… are there other things? Can you tape a paintbrush on it and do art with it? Learn to shoot lasers from it? I ask this as an avowed penis-haver, though mine is frankly pretty humdrum so maybe that’s why I can’t imagine doing things other than sex and peeing with it (and let’s face it, it only does the latter of those things as it is)…

Emilia ’13

So I have a bit of a thing for Emilia Clarke, which I think makes sense. I also have a bit of a thing for girls wearing headphones, which I don’t really understand at all. Anyway, with that in mind, here’s the best of both worlds, la belle Emilia doing her character voice for Futurama in between being the mother of dragons and surviving another brain aneurysm (click for full-size):

Caligula re-re-redux

Just what the world needed, another re-edit of Caligula

As quixotic quests go, it’s a doozy: take 96 hours of raw footage filmed during one of the craziest and most tumultuous shoots in movie history and attempt to create a new version of the film described by Variety on release in 1979 as “a moral Holocaust”.
Step forward Thomas Negovan: the man who rescued Caligula. “There were definitely a lot of points in the last three years where I thought I was crazy,” he says. “I thought: ‘Is anyone going to care about this?’” But, in fact one of the most important entities in the industry, the Cannes film festival, cared very much, booking the new-and-possibly-improved version a premiere in its prestigious Cannes Classics strand, a section of the festival generally dedicated to celebrating the art of cinema at its finest.
“And so all of a sudden, I thought: ‘OK, all the therapy bills are worth it,’” says Negovan.
Screened for the first time on Wednesday, the 2023 version is billed as Caligula: The Ultimate Cut, and Negovan is keen to point out that, “The thing that’s bizarrely unique about it is it’s almost like the version that was released in 1979 is the deviant version. Ours is closer to what was originally intended. Even the word restoration … I don’t know what word works, but it isn’t a restoration. I don’t know what to call it.”

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Hand-staple-forehead time!

Tomorrow is World Goth Day, and for its 13th anniversary I decided to do my first mix in quite a long time. Accordingly, I present you with some of my own favourite tracks in the goth/darkwave/whatever vein from the last 13 years (Cult Strange have the newest song on here, having only come out less than three months ago). 20 tracks and 75 minutes.

    1. Sounds Like Winter, The Life of the Just
    2. The Damned, Spirit Evocation
    3. Soviet X-Ray Record Club, Good Things
    4. Cult Strange, Slave to the Algorithm
    5. Gemini, Down Ballarat
    6. Elysian, Twist of the Knife
    7. Play Alone, Black Glass
    8. Masses, Blind
    9. Alaric, Alone
    10. Traitrs, Gallows Hill
    11. Secret Shame, Chaining Eris
    12. Black Angel, Walk Away
    13. Poison Culture, Nihilistic Tendencies
    14. Spectres, Longinas
    15. Occults, Sex After Death
    16. Puritans, Sacred Cow
    17. Den, Deep Cell
    18. Lock Howl, Graveless
    19. Death Church, Choking Nation
    20. Killing Joke, Into the Unknown

Enjoy. I insist.

Something for everyone

I am afraid to ask who the dress up costumes, etc, are meant for

The things you find on the Internet. I’d never heard of this place before (it’s in the NSW town of Young), although it apparently has some international renown cos Bill Bryson mentioned it in one of his books… I’m just bowled over that this place exists. Pet stuff and porn all in one place? It’s an interesting business model…

You go, geeks!

Remember Gamergate? That fucking nonsense about “ethics in game journalism” and all that which prefigured the rise of the alt-right? And how it began because gamers couldn’t cope with the gaming industry having people who weren’t straight white cis men in it, and as a result it became a major right-wing culture war® flashpoint that spilled over into the broader sf/fantasy community that can’t cope with innovations like women, gays, black people, TEH TRANZEZ etc, in media like Doctor Who or the Disney-era Star Wars films and shows? Well, you’ll be interested to learn that said community has clearly taken a long hard look at itself since then, saw what they did and how what they did made them look like a bunch of hateful regressive cunts that no one with any common decency would want to be connected with, and lessons have been learned as a result. Just… not good ones:

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RIP Andy Rourke

News is coming through of the passing of Andy Rourke, bassist for The Smiths, aged 59 from pancreatic cancer. Poor bastard, screwed over by Morrissey & Marr and then screwed over by what I presume was a combination of bad legal advice and his smack habit needing urgent fulfilment, settling for less than a hundred grand while Mike Joyce ended up with a million pounds because he insisted on fighting on. Marr at least posted a nice farewell message to him; I haven’t seen anything similar yet from Stephen Patrick but I can’t imagine it being terribly kind somehow if/when he does acknowledge it… (EDIT: happy to have been proven wrong about this.)