What’s in a name

I can’t believe I’d forgotten this legend until Facebook Memories delivered the goods tonight. If Wankard Pooser remains the most gloriously named man ever, Calvin here does the better job of living up to his name… The whole story is so deranged that I thought it couldn’t possibly be even remotely true, so back in the day I remember doing a quick bit of research and finding that… well, it was. Or, if it wasn’t, the creator of the thing put in some effort with the crucial details. I found an actual Calvin E. Wank in the online White Pages, and according to this site he did live (maybe still does) in Deposit N.Y. and he would indeed have been 56 at the time, and there is indeed a Love’s Travel Stop in Kirkwood. So it’s a lot easier to just assume that, unlikely as it sounds, all of this did happen. And if it didn’t, Calvin E. Wank should sue for having his unfortunate name taken so magnificently in vain…