Penis

Historians dispute Bayeux tapestry penis tally after lengthy debate

In a historical spat that could be subtitled “1066 with knobs on”, two medieval experts are engaged in a battle over how many male genitalia are embroidered into the Bayeux tapestry.
The Oxford professor George Garnett drew worldwide interest six years ago when he announced he had totted up 93 penises stitched into the embroidered account of the Norman conquest of England.
According to Garnett, 88 of the male appendages are attached to horses and the remainder to human figures.
Now, the historian and Bayeux tapestry scholar Dr Christopher Monk – known as the Medieval Monk – believes he has found a 94th.
A running man, depicted in the tapestry border, has something dangling beneath his tunic. Garnett says it is the scabbard of a sword or dagger. Monk insists it is a male member.
“I am in no doubt that the appendage is a depiction of male genitalia – the missed penis, shall we say. The detail is surprisingly anatomically fulsome,” Monk said.

The real question this article unfortunately fails to answer is why exactly anyone felt the need to count how many penises were in the Bayeux Tapestry in the first place, never mind why five (or six) of them were human ones…

…and frankly I don’t know that I’m convinced either way. But if that IS his John Thomas, well, that fellow was certainly… endowed.